Being kind to yourself directly ties in with self-love. It’s tough to master one without the other, and both are incredibly important. It’s widely known that being kind to yourself is good for your mental health, yet some people struggle to be kind to themselves. It’s especially perplexing when someone who is so great at being kind and compassionate to others, isn’t as kind or compassionate to themselves.
Oscar Wilde, the famous Irish poet and playwright, once said, To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance. Like any romantic tale, the passing of time brings forth both sunny and stormy circumstances, which test your inner strength, and how you relate to yourself. Often, trials and tribulations in life lead to a downward spiral of self-loathing and negative thoughts if you’re not making a conscious effort to be kind to yourself.
You have to give yourself room to make mistakes, and you also need to give others room to make mistakes as well.
Self-love is of course easier on good, happy days when you feel proud of yourself and your accomplishments. However, when your self-esteem takes a hit, you’re rejected, or you fail at something, this self-directed love could fly out the window and be replaced by negative self-talk. You could suddenly zero in on your faults, and judge yourself harshly. Your head might fill with shame and self-blame. In moments like this, being kind to yourself can make a world of difference.
If someone important in your life doesn’t give you room to make mistakes, it could be challenging to learn to cut yourself some slack, because you’re not used to getting that slack (or benefit of the doubt) from others. Perhaps you need to re-evaluate relationships where your flaws are not accepted.
We can’t always act perfectly all of the time. It’s human nature to make mistakes. Sometimes, we’ll leave a social interaction feeling slightly ashamed of something we said or did. Other times, we’ll let someone down, or fail at a task. Being kind to yourself is how you can ensure that you go easy on yourself and let your failures teach you something, instead of getting you down.
Being Kind to Yourself is Critical to Master Self-Love
It’s important to win back your own heart and reclaim your confidence through self-love and self-compassion. If you want more feelings of self-acceptance, contentment, and happiness no matter your situation in life, you must be kind to yourself.
Being kind to yourself involves becoming your own best advocate and practicing self-compassion, even during your lowest points. Treat yourself with love, kindness, and care as you would a best friend.
Stand up for yourself when your flaws are unfairly honed in on, because everyone is flawed in different ways.
When you love yourself, you respect and appreciate yourself. You nurture these feelings from mindful actions that support your physical, spiritual, and emotional growth. You’ll have a high regard for your well-being and happiness when you love yourself, so you’ll treat yourself more kindly. In the same token, when you treat yourself kindly on a regular basis, you develop more self-love, so it’s a very positive cycle.
Nobody Can Pour From an Empty Cup
Bear in mind that it’s never selfish to prioritize yourself and take care of your needs. After all, no one can pour from an empty cup. Being kind to yourself only helps you be kinder to others as well.
If you want to treat others right and give the best version of yourself to other people, it all starts from within. You’ve likely heard the expression, You have to learn how to love yourself before you can love anyone else. Love yourself first so this love can overflow to others. Don’t sacrifice your own well-being in order to please others only. Instead, work on being kind to yourself and consistently practicing self-love so that you’re motivated to make healthy choices in life that nurture you and serve you well. When you are kind to yourself, it is easy to practice being kind to others.
Being Kind to Yourself Helps You Accept Kindness from Others
Many people who struggle with self-love and aren’t very kind to themselves also find it difficult to accept love and kindness from others.
In other words, you might accept poor treatment or settle for less than what you deserve in friendships and relationships as a result. On the other hand, the kinder you are to yourself, the less likely you’ll be to accept mistreatment from others.
One of the dangers of being mean to yourself is that when other people are mean to you, you normalize it. This could result in unhealthy or toxic relationships.
You’ll Become More Resilient
When you’re kinder to yourself, you won’t focus on the negative as much. This helps you bounce back from tough situations faster. When bad things happen, you can either focus on the negative and get into the self-blame and shame game, or you can try to put a positive spin on it, such as, I’m glad I learned this lesson, it’s only going to help me grow wiser. Being kind to yourself helps you find value in teachable moments (even if it was a hard lesson that was upsetting) and you’ll start to view unfortunate situations a bit more positively, by viewing it as something that helped you grow.
Being Kind to Yourself Helps Prevent Anxious Thoughts
Anxious thoughts often stem from negative self-perceptions. Of course, not all anxious thoughts that spiral out of control start out this way, as many different things can cause anxiety. However, being kind to yourself can help prevent you from falling down the rabbit hole of overbearing negative or anxious thoughts. It’s a hole that can be hard to climb out of, so if you can possibly prevent your thought processes from going in this negative direction by being less hard on yourself, that’s much better for your mental health.
Learning to Accept That Everyone Has Different Strengths and Weaknesses
Being kind to yourself is much easier when you comprehend that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. When we’re kinder to ourselves on a more regular basis, we start to own our flaws, and we don’t hone in on them but rather start to accept them. We’re all great in some ways, and flawed in other ways, and that’s normal.
Your unique traits are written in your DNA. Some of your natural strengths and weaknesses are genetic. Practice being kind to yourself by getting to know yourself better, and start owning your own strengths and weaknesses. Get over 500 reports about yourself by taking a DNA test from CircleDNA.
References
- Quote by Oscar Wilde (goodreads) https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/6982-to-love-oneself-is-the-beginning-of-a-lifelong-romance
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